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A note from a birth mother:
Deciding to place your child in an adop-
tion plan was a life-changing event for
you. Don't be hard on yourself: it is
not realistic to expect everything to go
back to the way it used to be. You have
changed from this experience. Acknowl-
edging that this was the right decision
"After I chose adop-
tion for my daughter, I
was totally upset. I knew
I couldn't raise her, yet
it was so hard to actu-
ally give her to another
family to raise. I chose
an open adoption because
I thought I would not
get sad if I was able to
see pictures of her. But I
am still sad at times - I
think about her every day
and wonder if I could have
raised her. I just received
my first picture of her and
she is absolutely adorable.
I spend a lot of time every
day thinking about her
and crying."
for you is the first thing you can do to
help you heal and move on. Right now,
you are still in the post-pregnancy hor-
mone adjustment stage. It is difficult to
look at anything with too much clarity,
but this will get better. For right now,
you will benefit most from concentrat-
ing on letting your body heal itself from
the pregnancy and birth. Here are some
tips to help you relax and take care of
yourself during this time:
Take lot of walks; getting fresh air and
exercise helps with depression and re-
gaining your shape after birth.
Draw a warm bubble bath and relax.
Listen to calming music that inspires
Write in a journal.
find people to talk to that support
your adoption decision.
Look at building your faith and read-
ing inspirational books like the Bible.
Think of your goals and where you
want to go in your life. Ask for help
from guidance counselors at your col-
lege or school. Having future plans
helps you look forward.
Another great way to help with this ad-
justment period is to write to your child.
Get a journal specifically for talking to
them. You don't have to actually send
it, just keep it for yourself; later if you
ever meet when she is older you can ask
her if she would like to have it. When
you are thinking about your child, write
to her. Write about the feelings you are
Writing to your child will help you take
care of your own issues as well. You can
talk things out with her; ask her how she
likes her family. Explain why you felt
this was the best life for both of you.
In a journal to your child, you can say
all the things you wish you could say to
her. It will help you find your own peace
with your adoption decision and your
happiness for the life you and your child
are about to embark on. The future can
be bright and full of hope.
time for yourself
after an
How Journaling
Can Help
Don't be hard on yourself:
it is not realistic to expect
everything to go back to the
way it used to be.